Our Cats Had Kittens – Part 2

When the wait time from setting up an appointment to when a cat can actually have the procedure to prevent reproduction is three months long, nature decides to make different plans. This is how I ended up playing cat-doula for three mama-cats, yet again.

Our story starts on Monday:

Fluffy cat struggled with her first delivery so I suspected that the second one would not be a cake-walk. She presented herself in her labor-frenzied form in the morning. The fact that I had a to-do list almost a mile long did not change the fact that this cat was determined not to go through labor alone. I found myself setting up a box, old towel and working hard to convince her to stay in the box and deliver her baby. Fluffy becomes very panicked and attempts to “run away from the pain” of delivery. This leads to a very messy result and even more frazzled cat. After a significant amount of time and encouragement, a kitten was born. Since I had been through this process before, and knew that after the first kitten Fluffy would calm down and have the rest of her brood in the box, I left the room to attend to my ignored list.

We finished school, the kids were playing in the yard with the neighbor kids and I was set up on the deck painting a sign for a custom order. Life was back to its normal level of crazy……… or at least I thought.

All of a sudden, I hear “OH NO!” and running in the house. It turns out that one of the kids decided to check on Fluffy. The cat in her panicked state of labor, decided to make a run for it. This in itself would be bad enough but unfortunately, she had not managed to finish cutting the cord from the baby to herself. The kitten was trailing along behind her slamming against the ground as her frantic flight attempted to defy gravity. I opened the door to a flash of black fur, a bouncing ball of gray and a kid screaming behind them. The kitten was ripped off in the process and the cat took off for the woods. At this point, I was still wondering what happened to my semi-peaceful afternoon.

I decided that the first order of business was to check on the kitten. I picked it up and returned it to its box. The child that released this madness was very concerned and frazzled. It took a bit of convincing to calm him down. As I was walking through the house, I was able to witness the trail of mess through my house. Don’t worry, I will spare you the grotesque details. The mess was cleaned up and then I went on a search to find the cat. Did I mention that this was in the midst of seven children (mine plus the neighbor kids)? This search became very unorganized and more problems arose. The neighbor kids were sent home and the search resumed without luck.

At that point, I decided that if the cat would prefer to have her kittens in the woods, then it may be better for her and we should let her be alone. I was in the process of calling off the search when I turned the corner and found my youngest sitting on the ground with the runaway cat in her lap like nothing had happened. They were both looking up at me like I was crazy. I WAS chasing a pregnant cat after carrying her dropped baby and cleaning some disgusting floors, so maybe they were right. It’s probably best not to go continue that train of thought.

Fluffy was returned to her box and kitten and after more consoling and encouragement, she delivered four more kittens.

On Wednesday:

Our daughter recently turned five years old and requested a party with her friends. So, as any normal homeschooling mom would do, I planned a birthday party for the middle of a Wednesday afternoon. The food was prepared, the cake purchased (this mama doesn’t have time to bake a cake from scratch, too many doula services to the cat world to perform), house was cleaned and the guests arrived. The house and yard were filled with a lot of kids playing with water guns, nerf guns, clay, unicorn animals and bicycles all while hopped up on sugary treats.

I had finally found a second to sit down and attempt an adult conversation, when a child announced that one of the kittens was dead. This was the same kitten that had bounced around my house earlier in the week so it wasn’t necessarily a shocking discovery. Luckily for me, the noise of the party drowned out the fiasco and only a few people knew of this event. The hubby was able to bury the kitten in the back yard while the children were distracted with an activity in the front. Whew! Dodged a bullet on that one.

Not long after this, Tigress started to show symptoms of her impending labor. This is the cat that in her previous delivery decided to run away for a couple of days and hide them under a brush pile on the neighbor’s property. Apparently, she had heard of the now-famous doula services and would not leave our side. So, what do you do when your party’s focus has been diverted to a laboring cat? Well, we set the cat in the box in the shade of the back yard and let the children form a circle around her. We followed this up with chants of “push that kitty out!”. That’s a normal party activity, right?

The birthing process takes longer than the attention span of most children so when a kitten did not soon appear, the kids ran off to enjoy their play. The cat followed them! Really? What is wrong with our cats? I decided that if this mama cat had enough energy to chase down kids in the yard, that her labor may have been a false alarm and returned to discussing topics with my adult guests and forgot all about it.

It wasn’t long before it was loudly announced that “Tigress is having kittens on the couch!”

Yes. This cat decided that if she couldn’t deliver her kittens in a circle of chanting children that the next best place would be on my couch. I disagreed.

I was able to transfer her to a box into the bathroom with only a small amount of seepage on the blanket that was haphazardly left on the couch. This was one time that I was grateful for the messy habits of my children. I was prepared to leave her to a quiet room when it was discovered that some of the kids really wanted to witness this event. I found myself on the floor of our bathroom next to a laboring cat and two children…… then three children…… then four children……

The result was Tigress delivering two kittens in her box with myself and six children crowded in together as witnesses on the bathroom floor. A few adults were looking on from the doorway. It was a cute, if not weird way to end a birthday party.

On Friday:

The week had not gone as planned and my to-do list from Monday had gradually found its way to Friday with many more tasks added. I was determined that this was going to be a productive day of school, preparing for a craft show and possibly canning some relish from the abundance of cucumbers in our garden. I had prepared an extra-large cup of coffee for this endeavor.

This was the day that Taz decided to have her kittens. She appeared to the house a little thinner than before and it was suspected that she had delivered her kittens outside. However, she was not done. She found a cloth box that we use for school supplies that was conveniently emptied out by my youngest, and proceeded to announce that this would be “her spot”. I disagreed. We were able to find another cardboard box and old towel to transfer her just in time for her to deliver a kitten. Moments later, she was in the process of delivering the second and all focus was on her.

Or so I thought. It was at this moment that I was informed that one of Fluffy’s kittens was dead. Fluffy had experienced some real difficulty delivering these kittens but since this one hadn’t had its head bashed against the floor multiple times in mid-flight, I wasn’t expecting another death. I assigned the other three to monitor Taz and the kittens so that I could sneak outside with my other child and the dead kitten. We are now developing our own pet cemetery as it was suggested to bury this kitten next to the chicken that we lost earlier in the summer. After looking into those deep, blue eyes, I couldn’t argue. We dug a hole and buried the kitten with a small ceremony attended by one sad child, myself and another curious cat as witnesses.

I returned to the house to discover that Taz had delivered two kittens and appeared to be done. Yay! Now, we may be able to restart our day.

At this point, my coffee is cold so I attempted to reheat it.

I was wrong. It turns out that Taz did indeed have at least one other kitten outside before she decided to invite us to join the fun and excitement. The problem is that she appeared to have forgotten where she put them. She continued to walk around the house, looking at me and meowing in a very accusatory way. Why is it that every human and animal in this house seems to think that I should know where their misplaced items are located?!?!?

The hunt for the lost kittens took a while as we attempted to follow the cat throughout the yard in hopes that she would soon remember. We searched in what we thought would make good cat homes but without any luck. Our dog, even though she is deaf and partially blind, attempted to help with the search. This attempt was misinterpreted by Taz and led to a brief cat-and-dog fight. Belle gave up the insanity and returned to her bed for a nap. I was very jealous of the dog at this moment.

Eventually, it was discovered that her kittens were hidden in a large bush on the side of the house. We were able to reunite the family and they seem happy in their little box.

My coffee was cold. I attempted to reheat it.

It was noon and I thought that a restart was in order. I took a shower to clear my mind and hide from some of the chaos that is my life. This lasted only a few minutes because I was interrupted with the news that Fluffy has now decided that the bathroom is no longer good enough for her babies and she was moving them to an obscure corner of the girl’s room.

At this point, I have decided to let the cat have whatever she wants. She won! She can move them to the girl’s room hidden among the piles of Barbies and stuffed animals. This has now been promoted to a “daddy-problem” as I retire to my room to dress.

Now, what did I do with my coffee?