It is that time of year again! For traditional schoolteachers, they may be enjoying another month of vacation time, but a lot of homeschooling teachers spend late spring and early summer making lesson plans for the upcoming year. The homeschooling groups on social media are inundated with questions about curriculum, scheduling and how to manage it all. When a parent decides to dive into the unfamiliar world of homeschooling, it can seem daunting. While I am not an expert, I have learned a few things over the years and here are my top ten tips for new homeschoolers.
#1 - Get Legal
Each state has their own laws regarding homeschooling. It doesn't really matter if you agree with them because unless you plan to move to another state, you will need to follow those laws. You can work to change them later, but for now, learn the laws for your state.
If you are a legal scholar, you can search the state archives and dive into the jargon. For those that are not so inclined, like myself, I suggest joining HSLDA (Homeschool Legal Defense Association). This group works hard to stay informed of the legal issues in every state and are willing to share that information with you. When you join, you also get access to lawyers that will assist you if you ever have any issues regarding homeschooling and the law. I have never had to utilize their services for this purpose, but I find it comforting to have available if needed.
Do NOT go to your local school board for information about homeschooling! It would be like asking the manager at McDonald's to assist you with the opening of your food truck. They both deal with food but in very different ways. The personnel in these offices know their world of public school, but they usually do not truly understand the side of homeschooling. You do not want to get false information, so let them handle their area of education and search for better advice somewhere else.
#2 - Know Your "Why"
When I first received the advice of "Know Your Why" from a veteran homeschooler, I dismissed it as an extra-crunchy, touchy-feely addition that I didn't have time to think about. I was wrong.
Homeschooling is growing in popularity with the latest data showing that homeschoolers make up ~6% of all students in K-12 in the USA in 2022 (1). Even with this increase in acceptance, the act of educating your children seems very foreign to a lot of people. Many people will not understand nor agree with your educational choices. While it is not our job as home educators to change the public's mindset, we will encounter resistance. This resistance has shown itself in many ways over the years:
- "When do you plan to put them in a real school?"
- Quizzing my children at every encounter.
- Telling my child that he/she is not at "grade level".
- Intentionally dismissing our planned school days with interruptions.
- "Do you think you are really smart enough to teach them all of the school subjects?"
- "I couldn't be around my children for that long every day. I need a break."
- "Your kids are very sociable; you would have never guessed that they were homeschooled."
- When your child is told "You are the only homeschooler that we know and that is so weird!"
Some people are truly interested in your alternative way of life. Some people are justifying their decisions by finding fault with yours. Some people cannot understand doing anything that is considered outside of "the norm". It really doesn't matter what their intentions are, these comments (especially the ones that your children are exposed to) will frustrate, anger and damage your resolve. There is no reason to explain your specific "why" to anyone, but having it tucked away into your heart will help you overcome the urge to throat punch the offending person.
Homeschooling is hard work. When someone asks a public-school teacher what they do for a living, the answer is accepted as a hard and respected profession. When someone discovers that you are a home educator, they automatically dismiss the work that it takes to plan and coordinate individualized lesson plans for multiple children. A home educator is often lumped into someone that doesn't work and has freedom to enjoy their days in leisure. You know that this isn't true, but you may not be prepared for the bad days. The day when your tight schedule was interrupted multiple times, when a simple lesson took way too long, when the toddler was exceptionally cranky and put everyone on edge or when your moody teenager is pushing every single one of your buttons. These bad days will happen, and it will be important to know your "why" so that you don't automatically throw in the towel and load your children onto the first yellow bus that passes your house.
#3 - Do NOT try to replicate traditional school
Knowing your reason "why" that you homeschool will repeatedly help you with deciding on what activities to include and exclude from your personal homeschool.
- Do you need traditional school pictures when you take pictures of your children all of the time?
- Do you need a report card when the purpose is to provide information to the parent about the child's performance when you are both the parent and the teacher?
- Do you need grades when your philosophy is to teach a subject to mastery?
- Do you need a traditional school desk and/or school room when the couch is the most comfortable reading spot in the house?
- Do you really need months off during the summer or would a year-round approach with various breaks work better for your family?
- Does your school need to start sharply at 8am every day?
A lot of the methods, rules, and routines used in traditional schools were developed for classroom management of a large number of students. You may find that some of the methods helpful and others unnecessary. It is important to realize that you are developing a learning environment that is different than traditional schooling. You are in charge and get to make the rules. This is empowering but also harbors a lot of responsibility. You can do it but do it YOUR WAY.
#4 - Start with How You Enjoy Learning
A lot of homeschooling advice columns will recommend that you cater to your child's learning style. This sounds great and eventually you will tailor your teaching to accommodate their learning styles but when you first start this journey, it becomes one more thing that can intimidate you and hinder their success.
Personally, I love great stories and reading. I found that even when I used curriculums that didn't include literature, I would find ways to add it to our day. Eventually, I found my way to the Charlotte Mason style of teaching and utilize Ambleside Online for a lot of my planning and structure.
I have met home educators that really hated read-aloud time. They prefer more active forms of hands-on learning. I discovered one friend that used the same history curriculum but in a different way. While I skipped a lot of the crafts due to the mess, time and frustration I felt with them, she incorporated all of them. She even mummified a chicken to mimic the Egyptian process!
I have always enjoyed learning from people that are excited about what they are teaching. There is simply a spark behind someone when they are educating you on a topic that they love. That spark is contagious and makes the listener want to understand more about the topic that they may never have had a previous interest. I suggest start by teaching in the manner that you most enjoy so that your children can see your spark. Let them see how much fun you have learning, and they will be excited to mimic your behavior. You can always make adjustments along the way if one of your children struggles with this approach.
#5 - Give Your Child the Freedom to Choose a Topic of Interest.
Freedom of learning can be simple but look different for each family.
This freedom of learning can be as elaborate as giving your child total control and you provide the materials to support the topic, aka unschooling. Personally, I find this approach exhausting as it requires a lot of chasing ideas and finding the right materials, experts, etc. for each topic. However, many homeschooling families have been very successful using this method.
If your child has an interest in horses, consider adding the topic into your other subjects. Teach reading with books about horses, teach writing by asking him/her to write a letter to their parents as to why they should purchase a horse, teach math by calculating the costs of owning a horse, etc.
I offer my children one "elective" or free choice option to learn about each semester. This has included photography, Italian, veterinary science, robotics, electricity, vermiculture, survival skills, culinary arts, etc. Do not make this harder on yourself than it needs to be (I did at first and have discovered easier ways). If this is the first time that the child has picked this topic, start with the basics. I alternate book options, video options and hands-on options for each when possible. An example is that for my 8-year-old wanting to cook; she read cookbooks with stories in them, watched cooking shows and was given the freedom to cook on her own (sometimes successfully and sometimes we had to let the smoke out of the house through open windows).
Whatever method that you choose to employ, you will be surprised where it can lead. One child decided that he didn't find the Italian language as exciting as he anticipated so he moved on to another subject. One child decided that he loved vermiculture so much that he started his own worm farm, makes worm tea and is selling it online and at the Farmers Markets. Give your children a little freedom to explore their interests and you will learn so much about them as they learn more about themselves.
#6 - Plan a Rough Schedule, Then Be Flexible
Planning your schedule is another area that referring to your "why" is helpful. Why did you choose to homeschool? Let this shape how your schedule will work. You do NOT have to teach during the same time frames as a traditional school. In Kentucky, the school year is any time between July 1st and June 30th of the following year.
Did you want to incorporate more family time? If so, then work your school schedule to compliment the schedule of a working spouse. There were many times that my husband was working at the hospital on the weekends. We simply chose to have school on those days and took off during the week to enjoy family time together.
Does your family business have busier times of the year? If so, then adjust your school calendar to work with your business rather than against it. This will make things easier for you and will allow the kids to be more active in the family business.
Do you like to take vacations? We discovered that vacations scheduled just outside of the parameters of the traditional school calendar are cheaper, less crowded and more enjoyable than those scheduled during the peak summer times.
Are the personalities in your family early-birds or night owls? Do you need to schedule your days around a toddler's naptime? The daily schedule can vary but should have some form of structure to it. You will not spend the same number of hours sitting down to work as our public-school counterparts are away from home. There is a lot of wasted time during their schooldays to accommodate for the large class sizes; bathroom breaks, taking attendance, passing out supplies, taking up papers, dealing with disruptions, moving from class to class, traveling to and from the school building, etc. Even with interruptions, you can easily complete one student's work in a 4–5-hour school day (less for younger children).
After you have planned a rough schedule, be flexible. There will be opportunities that arise that you will not want to miss so accept the fact that you may have to adjust your plans. These adjustments should be occasional situations so that you can maintain the structure that you need. If you find that you are always changing your schedule for interruptions or opportunities, reassess your schedule and make necessary adjustments. You will find what works for you.
#7 - Develop Good Habits
The development of good habits is not only good for homeschooling families but also for each individual throughout their lives. You should decide what good habits you want to focus on and make them a priority in your lives.
The good habit can be as simple as getting dressed and brushing teeth and hair each day without oversight from a parent. Remember that children mimic more than what they listen to, so you will also have to participate in this good habit formation.
Pick one habit to apply to your home. Give it time to become a habit. Enjoy the benefit of this newly formed habit. Then, start another one. You will be amazed at the changes in your home when these good habits become the normal routine for your family.
Some rules that we have implemented in our home:
- We have a morning meeting. The morning family meeting is set to ensure everyone is aware of the plans for the day. This includes any updates on the animals, outside activities, school plans, assigning tasks, etc. We have found that taking a few minutes at the beginning of the day to clearly state our goals prevents multiple issues of misunderstanding and repeated questions.
- We do not eat until after the animals eat. We have multiple animals dependent upon us on the farm. Morning chores are not an option. Everyone participates in morning chores to ensure that the animals' needs are met. Morning chores at our house also includes laundry, taking out the trash, caring for the baby, cooking breakfast and meal prep for later in the day. When we work together, this daunting list becomes manageable. We also alternate the chores for everyone so that no one feels that they get stuck doing the same thing every day.
- We limit screentime during the day to only educational content. This rule has prevented the constant asking for screentime throughout the day. Screentime is relegated until after dark for the majority of the time with only a few exceptions (bad weather day with no outside plans, entertaining the baby in order to get a lesson completed, etc.). Since the children understand the limitations for these devices, they look for alternative activities during their free time.
- We leave the house in a clean state. This is a habit that is currently a work-in-progress. I personally hate returning home, unload the vehicle with all of our stuff, only to be met with a messy house that we left in our rush to get out of the door. The work to clean seems more insurmountable when you are exhausted from the activity that you just completed. I encourage everyone in our house to ensure that the floors, countertops, tables, etc. are all cleaned off and everything is put away before we leave for an activity. This delay in departure is difficult for the hubby as he doesn't like the risk of being late. I have found that the occasional late arrival to be a small price to pay for the sanity saving activity of maintaining the home and returning to a calm and clean space. We are still working on this one, but when we are successful, life runs a bit smoother.
#8 - Choose a Curriculum and Make Lesson Plans
I intentionally placed this tip towards the bottom of the list as it seems to be the first thing that new homeschoolers want to do when taking on this challenge of homeschooling. Curriculum and lessons plans are important, but they are only a small portion of homeschooling. Choosing to educate your children at home is a mindset change and you should address the other issues listed above before tackling the concept of curriculum.
There is a multitude of options for homeschool curriculum. It is very easy to become overwhelmed. Please remember that even the most expensive and impressive curriculum will not be the grand fix for your homeschool. You must find the options that work best for you and your family. Just because a curriculum doesn't work for one family doesn't mean that it will not be a good fit for you. You will make some purchases that simply do not work and will need to sell them to another family. Try not to become overwhelmed with the plethora of options on the market.
One way to narrow down the options for curriculum is to focus on the curriculums that match your style of learning. When you are beginning, this may be a guess but start with what you know and go from there. Refer back to Tip #4 and how you enjoy learning to narrow down the options.
If there is a particular subject that you enjoy and know a lot about, then don't worry about finding the perfect curriculum. For example, if you are a science nerd, then instead of spending a fortune on a science curriculum, study topics that you enjoy and pull various resources that you can enjoy as a family. Your spark for this topic will be contagious and they can learn from zoo trips, museum exhibits, magazine articles, reference books from the library and documentaries. Take this beloved subject of yours and let your interests lead you for a while. Removing one subject from the curriculum search will help relax your efforts in searching for material on topics that you do not enjoy.
Consider the more inclusive curriculums for subjects that you do not particularly enjoy. For example, if you get frustrated with math, consider a curriculum that lays everything out for you and even tells you what to say. You can consider online or video options for a subject but be careful with this option because if you separate yourself too much, you will not be able to assist with questions that your child has on the subject.
You do not have to be an expert in everything to teach your children. If they have an interest in a subject that is not in your wheelhouse, find a resource for them. This world is filled with people with varying interests and skills. If your art skills stop at the drawing of a stickman, then find an art class that your child can participate in. Supplement the classes with your own implementation of art history that includes exposure to art pieces and good books and/or museum visits.
A good rule of thumb when it comes to curriculum is that the more money that it costs, the less time that you will need to supplement. If you are rolling in the dough and want to use all-inclusive curriculums for every subject, then please do so. If your budget is a bit smaller, then I suggest spending the money to utilize curriculums to make your life easier. If you do not like a particular subject, then spending a lot of time organizing and relearning a topic will result in frustration that will eventually be transmitted to your children. Use curriculums to make your life easier and not more difficult.
Reach out to other homeschooling families for advice. Take their advice with the understanding that they may run their school differently than you do. If you are a lover of books and your friend loves craft time, you may not necessarily utilize the same curriculum. Find out what others like about a particular curriculum and see if it fits into your goals for the year.
Finally, just make a choice. You may love your choice, or you may learn to hate it. Either way, you will soon know how it works for you and will make better decisions in the future. I have started multiple curriculums that others raved about only to find that it didn't work for us.
#9 - Make Adjustments
You will want to give yourself time to acclimate to your new lifestyle, curriculum and routine. As you move forward, you will discover that some things are simply not working. That's ok. One beautiful thing about homeschooling is that you can make adjustments easier than any other type of education.
During this time, you will discover some of your child's talents and limitations. You may have to adjust your expectations and methods. One example for us was when I discovered that my child could not focus enough to complete worksheets. It was a struggle for both of us. We changed our approach to oral and action-based methods of learning, and he excelled.
You may inherently know that your children are different, but these specific differences will expose themselves to you when you are teaching them. It may be frustrating to learn that the method and curriculum that worked perfectly with your oldest was a failure when applied to the education of a younger sibling. Always try to use the materials that you have on hand before purchasing new materials for each child but be prepared that it may not be successful. Individualized education is a wonderful option for the learner but is impossible to apply in a large group (public school) or even within a family.
#10 - Enjoy the Time with Your Children
Your children are only under your roof for a short period of time. Do not become so overwhelmed with educational options that you miss the beauty of this time together. This is much easier said than done and I have been guilty of getting distracted by the details myself. Just remind yourself why you are keeping these cute monsters at home for their education and find enjoyment in the process.
Don't try to mold your children into who you think they should be. God created each of them for His purpose. Your job as the parent is to guide them, love them and help them to discover their place in this world. Being the primary educator just gives you another way to help them along the way. Love the child for who they are.
Do not feel like you must be an expert. Showing your children that they can learn new things even at your ripe old age, will encourage them to learn throughout their lifetime and not associate learning only with a brick-and-mortar building. Learning a new subject with your child will develop connections and memories that they can share with their own children one day.
As my oldest child is nearing the legal driving age, I am reminded of the cliche "Children grow up so fast". It is a cliche for a reason. I am working to enjoy this journey and not get lost in the weeds of insignificant items. I hope that you are, too!
1. Research Facts on Homeschooling – National Home Education Research Institute (nheri.org)