We often forget what a blessing time is for us. We waste it, we spend it, but we do not always treasure it. Time is the resource that we can never "earn" more of or create for ourselves.
My daughter came to me recently with a sincere question. She had been spending time with her church youth group when the conversation turned to the passage of time. Of course, it wasn't discussed in this manner, but even children can appreciate the value of this resource. She asked "They said that they were sad that summer was almost over. The weather has just become hot, how is it almost over?" I explained to her that for a lot of people that attend traditional schools, the "summer" they are referring to is not the season but short for "summer break". She said that she understood this concept, but I could tell that she didn't understand the true sincerity of the other children's concern.
We typically start our school year in July, the middle of summer break for most. This alternative schedule has worked well for our family and lifestyle. While we start school in the summer, it doesn't mean that our "summer is over" nor that we no longer enjoy the fun activities of the season. We simply incorporate learning into our everyday lifestyle and into each season of life.
How do you explain to a child (that has never experienced it) the dread that weighs on a person's heart when they know the freedom of choosing how to spend their time is coming to an end? How do you describe the restrictions imposed on some people that include asking permission to use the restroom, restrictive class schedules that are timed to the minute, the inability to finish an important task simply because a bell rings and the inability to move on to a different task simply because it isn't the "right time"? I can't.
While I am at a loss to explain to her the real anxiety associated with this loss of autonomy, I am glad that I am sparing her from this experience.
We may not be able to give our children every gift that their heart desires, but we have given them the gift of time. We have given them the freedom to choose:
- When to use the restroom and to do so in privacy.
- When it is necessary to spend more time on a subject that is difficult or that sparks a particular interest.
- When to push through subjects or topics that are easy and/or boring to them.
- When they need to stop and simply rest.
The gift of time doesn't only affect children. I have seen the memes and social media posts like this one:
I find this statement heartbreaking. It is true that our children will eventually grow up, move out and start their own families. However, the concept that we must force the majority of our quality time with our children into one season simply because that is how someone else designed it, seems preposterous to me. Why should we only get 18 summers with our kids? Eighteen years is short enough. So, let's make the most of each year.
The gift of time has influenced me as the teacher. I have discovered the importance of the time spent together during our days. I appreciate the opportunity to know first-hand the academic strengths and weaknesses of each of my children. I take the opportunity to meet and learn about their friend's families when we gather together for events. Relationships cannot be forged nor maintained at the same level without spending time together. Our time together provides an opportunity to develop a better understanding of each person that God created and allowed me to raise and teach.
As I have become more aware of the value of time, I have become careful about how I use it. I will not claim to be an expert on efficiency or time management as I have a very disorganized brain. However, I find myself guarding our time against things that we "should" do or doing things simply because that is how normal people spend their time.
Here are a few time wasters that I have identified and avoid when possible:
- Meetings - I have never been a fan of meetings. Most meetings are filled with arrogant individuals abusing other's time to feed their ego by spewing their thoughts to a forced, captive audience. I avoided them during my traditional working days, and I avoid them now when possible. Most meetings can be replaced with an email that can be referred to for clarification when needed.
- Minor exception to this rule: The hubby and I have regular meetings to discuss our schedules and plans for the farm. Most wouldn't call these meetings as they would simply be conversations between husband and wife. We call it a meeting to enforce to the kids not to interrupt.
- Second minor exception: We have a quick, ten-minute family meeting every morning to discuss the plans and expectations of the day. Our lives have rhythm, but they do not follow a strict routine. A quick, united time before starting chores allows everyone to be on the same page.
- People - There are certain people in our lives that drain our energy. You know who they are. These are the people that when you leave their presence, you find yourself exhausted or exasperated. You dread being around them. While we cannot completely surround ourselves with people that inspire and energize us, we can be intentional about whom we share our time. Proverbs 27:17 reads, "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another". We are influenced by those we choose to spend our time with. It is important to choose wisely.
- Tasks with no clear purpose - I have met a lot of "busy" people. I have even been one of those "busy" people at times in my life. However, busy does not always equal productive. There are a lot of tasks that we create that do not produce a result. There are even a lot of jobs that, when scrutinized, can be said to be unnecessary based on the results of the work. It is important to know when you are completing a task, the goal behind the task so that you may achieve it. This is one reason that we limit worksheets and other busy-work in our school day. We focus on work that challenges us and expands our knowledge rather than simply "checking the boxes" in order to finish a class. We try to examine our time to ensure that the tasks that we are performing produce desired results.
- Social media - There are benefits to having social media in our lives. We are able to gain information from various sources much faster than previous generations. We can communicate with people easier, although in an impersonal manner. However, I have fallen victim to mindless scrolling and found time wasted. It takes discipline to limit ourselves. I don't have a solution to this as we are still navigating the balance between using social media and not letting it use us. However, I think it is at least one step in the right direction by identifying that it can be a problem.
- Activities with little benefit - There is a lot of pressure for parents to ensure that their children do not "miss out" on an opportunity. This can lead to overscheduling and exhaustion. I do not claim to be an expert on this one because we are definitely guilty of committing to a lot of activities and then regretting the time required for them. I have learned to be more discerning when choosing and remaining in certain activities. We constantly reevaluate activities and discuss them with our children to ensure that they are beneficial. It is an ongoing process, and we still struggle to maintain balance, but we try.
Ecclesiastes 3 discusses time and how there is a time and season for everything. However, they do not all exist simultaneously. Time is a gift. We were also given the gift of choice by our Creator. We must choose how we spend this wonderful gift or someone else will decide for us. How are you working to make the most of your gift of time?